Forgiveness is the final form of love
by Ramadiii
Summary: When the enemy enters their layer, what will the GSE do? And what happens when they realize that they might actually like this enemy?
1. Calling in a favor

Here comes my first GSE-fic, really hope you like it! Not too sure about the response that this will be given so if you want me to continue this, send me a review ;)

Thanks for reading! 3

Chapter one – Calling in a favor

Bella never saw it coming. Even if she had, she probably would have been too shocked to do anything about it.  
Her father had never hit her before. Never, no matter what she had done. Sure, he was a crazy son of a bitch but he had never raised a hand on one of his kids before…. Until now.  
"Get out of my house." He simply said, that cold voice sending chills down her spine. Bella felt the tears running down her face but her father didn't even seem to notice.  
"Dad, it's been 10 years already, you have to realize that Tommy is gone." She saw her father flinch at the mention of his dead son's name and started moving towards her.  
"He's gone and he's never coming back, dad!" Bella yelled, the tears wetting the reddening skin of her beaten cheek as the other one received an even harder punch.  
"Don't you talk about my son!" He screamed as he kept bringing the fists to his only daughter's face, madness in his eyes and anger in his voice.  
"I lost him too, you know!" Bella yelled back, not even frightened of the pain that continued spreading across her poor face. "But you never cared, did you? Even when mom left you didn't care! All you ever thought about was yourself!"  
At this Tommy Hatcher said nothing. He got up from the floor where his beaten child laid before him, the madness evaporating from his veins but the cold never leaving his eyes.  
"I want you out of my house, and out of my town." He said, staring down at Bella. He turned around to walk into the livingroom but stopped in the door. "You are no daughter of mine anymore."

15 minutes later Bella was sitting on the tube, her entire life hurriedly stuffed into a suitcase as she leaned her beaten face against the window. People gave her weird looks and whispered behind her but she paid them no attention.  
Her tears had stopped the moment she had left the house, the cold night-air reminding her of the fact that she was now on her own. Thrown out of her childhood home, all alone without anyone to turn to… Unless…  
She looked down on the small piece of paper in her hand, an address hurriedly scribbled down. She had wished she'd never have to use it but her otherwise so rational brain seemed to have shut down, and so she was heading to the one place where she might be able to find some help.

Steve Dunham was sitting at his desk, almost done with tonight's work when his secretary gently knocked on his door, causing him to look up from the document in his hands.  
"I'm sorry, sir, but there is someone insisting on seeing you." She said, an apologetic look on her pretty face.  
Steve glanced down at the Rollex-watch around his wrist, who could it be this late?  
"Did you get the name?" He asked. He was after all almost finished for the night and most visitors tended to take a long time.  
"No, sir, but she looks pretty beat up."  
His secretary, Carol, knew about his little brother's business and so she most likely assumed that the girl had something to do with Pete. Not that Steve, at that moment, thought anything different either.  
"Show her in." He simply said, putting the document aside.

"This way, miss." Carol showed the girl in with a gentle hand on her back, after all, the girl's face might not be the only part of her injured.  
"Isabella?" Steve didn't believe his own eyes, what was the only living child of Tommy Hatcher doing in his office, at this time of the night, with a beaten and bruised face. "What are you doing here?"  
He stood up and walked over to where she was standing, her legs seeming a bit shaky as he helped her to a chair across from his desk.  
"You know I would never ask you for anything unless I had no other choice, right?" Bella looked straight into the older man's eyes, seeing the hint of surprise in them as he nodded.

"Well, I have no other choice. My old man threw me out and pretty much banished me from Millwall and..." She took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. "I just didn't know where else to go."

Steve looked at the girl in front of him. He had only seen her cry once before and that was on the day of her brother's funeral 10 years ago, and here she was: Sitting in front of him, the tears trickling down her swollen cheeks.

"So you want me to find you some place to stay?" He asked, just making sure he understood what she was asking from him. He found it best not to ask her to go into any further details until she had had something to eat and a decent night of sleep.

"Just to clarify something, this is not guilt-trip. What happened to my brother all those years ago was not your fault... Trust me, I don't blame you." Bella hurried to say as she saw that Steve was about to interrupt her. "I don't want you to help me because you feel bad about what happened, because if that's the only reason you're willing to listen to me then I have no reason to be here."

She knew that she was acting bossy but she meant every word that came across her lips. Not once had she blamed him for what had happened to Tommy, and she didn't want him to feel obligated to help her because of it.

"I got it." Steve chuckled a little and threw a glance down at his wrist-watch before looking up at the girl again. "You can stay at my place until you've found something else."

Bella looked at him with such thankful eyes, Steve almost felt uncomfortable.

"Really? But won't that be kind of awkward for you?" She asked, she might be a pushy-kind of person but she never liked causing trouble for good people.

"Nah, it's only me and my son now so the house is pretty big for just the two of us. Besides, I think Ben will enjoy the company."

"You have a son?" Bella really loved kids and being able to live in the same house as one sounded like a sweet deal. "How old is he?"

"He's turning five next week, time sure flies." Steve mused with a smile as he passed the framed picture of him and Ben to Bella.

"He looks like you." Bella smiled. How she would have wished for a dad like Steve Dunham growing up, his eyes glittered with love as he spoke of his son...

"Just give me 30 minutes and I'll drive you home, alright? Oh, and ask Carol if she could fix you something to eat, you look starving." He smiled at her and it was a brightly smiling, or as brightly as she could smile with half of her face numb from the bruises, Isabella that exited his office.

_Like I said previously, please let me know what you think and if you want a chapter 2 ;)_


	2. Settling in

**Chapter 2 – Settling in**

**AN: Sorry for taking such a long time!**

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Bella's POV  
"Are you sure I'm not causing you any trouble?" I asked when Steve unlocked the door to the house. I was tired, hungry and in desperate need for a shower but I still felt a little uncomfortable knowing that I was intruding this man's sanctuary.  
"Will you stop that, Isabella?" He turned his face to me and smiled. "It's not a problem."  
"Aright, I'll stop." I smiled back. "And it's Bella to my friends."  
We walked through the door and was greeted by a little boy, running up to his father to get picked up.  
"Hey, why aren't you in bed already?" Steve kissed the little boy's cheek, causing him to giggle cutely.  
"Ben wants to see daddy."  
"Well, where's your uncle Pete?" Steve asked as he looked around the hall and that's when Ben's eyes found me.  
"He went to football with friends. Who is she?" Ben pointed his little finger at me but Steve had caught on to the words of the boy.  
"What? He left you here on your own?" The five-year old nodded but kept staring at the strange girl in front of him.  
"Who is she?"  
"I'm Bella." I walked up and smiled at him, making Ben give me a smile in return.  
"Ben." His little fingers were tugging at his father's suit, a little shy as he gave me his name.  
"It's nice to meet you, Ben."  
"Let's just put you to bed, young man. Say good night to Bella." The older man kissed his son's head and turned around to walk up the stairs.  
"Good night, Bella." Ben waved at me, rubbing his eye tiredly with the other hand.  
"Good night, sweetheart." I waved back and watched Steve walk up the stairs, Ben looking over his shoulder to peek at me.  
"You just go into the kitchen and get yourself something to eat, I'll just put this buddy to bed and I'll be back to patch you up in a bit."  
"Aright." I nodded and walked into the room that I figured to be the kitchen, opening the fridge to find myself something to eat. I felt a little strange just stomping into his life but he had basically told me to so I tried not to feel too bad about it.  
I found myself a few slices of pizza and a bottle of water, and sat down at the dinner-table, almost throwing myself at the cold pizza-slices when Steve came down the stairs again.  
"You follow orders quite well." He stated with a smile and sat down across from me at the table.  
"Well, I learned quickly that it was just easier to not question orders." I answered, still stuffing my face.  
I could tell from the serious look on his face that my words had registered in his mind, and that he wasn't too happy about the hidden meaning in them.  
"Is that what happened? You didn't agree with your dad and he beat you up?" He nodded to my face, reminding me of my injuries. I really hoped that Ben hadn't been too frightened by the blood and the bruising but he hadn't seemed too phased by my appearance so in some strange way I guessed he was kind of used to it.  
"I didn't just disagree with him, I told him what I've been thinking for the past ten years. That Tommy is dead and that he needs to accept that. I told him to stop thinking about himself and start caring about the family that his hatred shattered. That's why he beat me up." I simply said, too tired to get emotional over the facts.  
"I knew he lost it when your brother died but I never actually thought he would turn on his own daughter like that." Steve looked at me with sadness in his eyes.  
"Listen to me, Dunham. I meant what I said back in the office, I've never blamed you for what happened to Tommy. Not once and I'll never think of blaming you for what my father did to me." I grabbed a gentle hold of his hand and smiled at him, feeling the sting of pain in my lip as I did but not caring.  
"You sure?" He asked, looking a bit relieved.  
"As sure as I'll ever be. Now, you mentioned something about patching me up." At this he smiled and opened the first-aid kit he had brought with him from the bathroom upstairs.  
As he was patching me up we talked. I found out that his wife and Ben's mother had died a few years back in cancer and how it was just the two of them now, he told me about his brother Pete who was just a couple years older than myself and how he had taken over the GSE after Steve left.

He asked me about my life and I told him how my mum had finally had enough of my dad's selfishness and left last year, how I stayed behind to look after the old man and to finish my art diploma at The Art Academy in London. How I was currently unemployed but made myself some pocket-money from sketching portraits of tourists on the days that I weren't helping my dad down at the garage.

All in all it was a nice chat, we hadn't really seen each other since Tommy's funeral 10 years ago so we had a lot of stuff to catch up on. I remembered the funeral as if it was yesterday.

_I placed the white rose on the top of my little brother's coffin, the tears stinging in my eyes but willing them not to fall. He didn't like me crying unless it had something to do with football. I smiled a little to myself as I thought of Tommy's goofy face the first time he ever watched a game on the telly. He'd looked at me and said in a dreamy voice: "That's gonna be me one day on the telly."_

_I'd just ruffled his hair and smiled, it was always good to have a dream, I told him but that he would have to work hard for it to come true._

_Soon enough our dad started taking him to games and although he was having the time of his life, I knew what went on at those games. The fighting afterwards, the drinking before... It wasn't a safe environment for a soon-to-be 12 year old kid._

_Our dad had taken me to matches before but when Tommy turned ten I was pretty much ignored by my father, I was two years older than my brother but apparently taking the son to a match was more fun than taking the daughter._

_I knew mum and dad had a lot of fights about whether he should take Tommy to the matches but it always ended in my dad's favour._

_When we were about to leave the funeral I caught sight of something that luckily my parents didn't. Steve Dunham was slowly walking up to the grave, holding a white flower in his hands before he let it drop into the grave with my brother._

_I excused myself from my family and walked up to the man in silence. Just when I was a few feet away from him I noticed something, he had tears running down his face._

"_Steve Dunham." I called his name in a soft voice, slightly hoarse from crying last night._

_He turned around, obviously startled and his eyes widened when he saw me._

"_I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have come but I just..." He was tripping over his words and I felt bad for the poor man._

"_It was nice of you. I think Tommy would have appreciated it." I smiled and I could tell he was confused by my behaviour._

"_Listen, I know what I did was..." He couldn't continue the sentence, it seemed to pain him too much. "I know it can never make up for what I've done but..." He dug around in his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper and a pen, scribbling down something on it. "This is the address to where I work. If you should ever need anything..." He reached me the note with a shaking hand and I accepted it with a grateful smile._

"_Thank you. I'm Bella by the way." I reached out my hand and it was with a perplexed look on his face that Steve shook it._

"_Steve, but I guess you already knew that."_

"_Yeah, my dad doesn't really like you." I tried to keep the smile on my face but the images of my father screaming his heart out, crying and cursing Steve Dunham for his son's death flashed through my mind and without noticing the tears started falling down my cheeks._

"_I'm sorry we had to meet like this." He said, handing me a wrinkly tissue to wipe the tears away._

"_Me too, you seem like a nice guy, Dunham." I chuckled as I dabbed away the wetness on my face._

"_Not really... But thank you."_

Hard knockings on the frontdoor made me pull my mind from the memories and with a raised eyebrow I threw a glance at the clock on the wall. It was far too late for any visitors to be coming by but Steve got up from his seat at the table and walked out of the room to answer the door.

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**Let me know if there is anyone still reading this and I'll continue it ;)**


	3. Family

**Forgiveness is the final form of love – Chapter 3 - Family**

**AN: First I really want to thank my new beta-reader (and muse) alicelouise'x for helping me out with everything Green Street-related! You're the best!  
**

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**Bella's POV**

"Aye aye, bruv!" The loud voice hit my ears and for a moment I hoped Ben hadn't woken up from it but from the lack of crying I assumed that he was still asleep.  
"What are you doin here?" Steve didn't sound amused by the late visit and I decided to walk to the door to see who it was.

What greeted me was a man my own age, tall and muscular, bruised but not nearly as beaten up as I was.  
"Well, hello..." The younger of the two men whistled and I unconsciously crossed my arms over my chest, straightening out as much as I could with my bruised ribs. "Way to go, bruv." The man patted Steve on the shoulder, as if proud of him and made his way past us, his eyes lingering on my body as he passed.

"Pete?" I asked Steve and he just nodded with a tired sigh before following his brother into the kitchen.

"Where were you tonight?" Steve asked the younger man who just reached for a beer in the fridge.  
"Match. Why?" He opened the bottle with his teeth and winked at me as he did. What did he think? That I would be impressed? Please.  
"You left your five year old nephew home alone. He could have died, Pete!" Steve raised his voice but Pete didn't seem to be affected by it.  
"Oh, come on. It was just for an hour or two. Besides I told Julia to come check up on him." He took another swig of the beer as if they were discussing the weather.

"Julia? There is no way that crank-whore is even throwing another glance at my son! Ben was your responsibility tonight, I trusted you with him and you decided to go to the match?" Steve ran his hands over his face, he looked so tired and I could only guess that this wasn't the first time Pete had run out on a deal with his older brother.  
"Oh, come on." The younger man pushed himself off the table he'd been leaning against and walked up to his brother, his face only inches away from Steve's. "Nothing happened, so just cool down, bruv."

I just sighed. This scene was pretty familiar, I'd heard fights like this many times between my mum and dad before she split but I didn't think I would ever get used to it.  
"Listen, Steve." Both men turned to me, effectively bringing an end to the argument. "This is between the two of you and I don't have any say in it, so would it be okay if I could lay down somewhere? I feel a little dizzy."  
"Just go up in the brother's bed, he'll be up in a few." Pete winked at me but I just raised a cocky eyebrow.  
"Ain't gonna happen, Dunham. The couch is fine by me." I said and winced as my ribs hurt again.

"Does it hurt?" Steve asked and as much as I would have liked to deny it, it really hurt too bad to hide any more.  
"Only when I breath." I hissed through gritted teeth. Apparently standing up and walking hurt me more than I'd first thought.  
"Hold on, I'll get you something." The older Dunham walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, leaving me alone with the younger of the two.

"What happened to you?" Pete asked after a few moments of silence, when I sat down again.  
"I fell." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.  
"Right, then the pavement must have pummelled you pretty badly once you'd fallen." He stated matter-of-factly and I just laughed softly.  
"Yeah, I think the pavement's got something against me."

The silence returned in the kitchen as Pete sat down across from me and continued to look at me with those blue eyes of his. He wasn't that bad-looking, okay I admit it, and despite being tired and in pain I still fleetingly thought what it would be like to run my fingers over that stubby blonde hair of his.

"Here we are." Steve walked into the kitchen again with two painkillers in his hand, effectively brining an end to my thoughts. I took the pills and swallowed them down with the last of the water in the bottle from dinner.  
"Thanks." I mumbled, feeling even more sleepy than before.  
"Mind if I turn on the tv?" Pete asked, walking into the livingroom without waiting for the answer to his question.  
"Not at all, go on ahead." Steve mumbled when his brother pushed passed him.  
I smiled at him and followed the younger one of the brothers. Livingroom and tv usually included a couch and that meant I might be able to get some shut-eye without anyone noticing.

Soon enough Pete and I sat on the couch with Steve in the armchair watching the football-match between Brazil and Norway. I didn't really mind football, in fact I kind of liked it but in my life football had never been just football which made the whole sport something I felt like avoiding if possible. But I had to admit that the painkillers made me kind of drowsy and half-laying on the soft couch feeling safe for the first time in a while slowly allowed sleep to claim me.

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**Pete's POV**

"_I fell." _Bull. Shit. There is no way you get that beat up just from falling. Possibly if you fell on somebody's fist over and over and over again.

From what I could tell she was pretty good-looking underneath all those bruises and swelling, at least she had the kind of body I liked. Not one of those tall bitches with sky-high heels thinking they were all that. She was petite but still had curves. Just my type.

I took my eyes off the game on the tv for a second and let them travel to the girl on my left. Her eyes were closed and her breathing had evened, telling me she was asleep.  
I wonder what happened to her, who would hurt someone who looked like that? I only had a few rules when it came to fighting:

1. You don't do someone on the deck.

2. You _never_ raise your hand to a woman, no matter what.

And from the looks of her wincing when she tried to straighten out someone had done both of those things to her and it pissed me off.  
I stood up and walked over to the other armchair where the big blanket laid. I picked it up and placed it over the girl, I knew how sore she would be in the morning so the least I could do was to make her as comfortable as possible until then.

I knew my brother was watching me but I didn't feel like explaining my train of thought, I might be a bastard sometimes but I wasn't heartless.  
I nodded goodbye to my brother, also to be taken as a silent 'I'm sorry' for the whole baby-sitting thing and headed to the door. It was late and both me and him had work in the morning.

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**Steve's POV**

I couldn't really help but smile when Pete draped the blanket over Bella's sleeping form. He didn't even know her name but he still felt the need to protect her, even if he didn't know it himself.

I had the feeling the girl was going to stay a while, at least until she had gotten herself a job and was able to...

That's it! I looked at my wrist-watch, okay it was too late to call now but in the morning I'd make a call to Terry and ask if he might need help down at the pub. It wasn't that I wanted to get rid of her, I actually liked the kid but I had a feeling that she wasn't one to just want to sit on her ass all day with nothing to do.  
I went upstairs and pulled out another blanket of the closet, she might get cold during the night, and some more painkillers along with a new water-bottle to place on the table next to the couch in case she woke up from the pain and didn't want to wake me up.

I realized that by doing this I was partially trying to clear my conscience of her brother's death but I also partially felt responsible for her. Now she had no one, no family, no home, no job and I just felt like maybe I could help her out a bit until things changed for the better.

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**Third chapter's up! Sorry for the shortness of it, the next one will be at least twice the length. Thank you so much for reading and please tell me what you thought of it, it keeps me writing (and faster!)**


	4. The abbey

**Forgiveness is the final form of love – Chapter 4 – The Abbey**

**Bella's POV**

Standing in front of the pub called 'The Abbey' I felt something unfamiliar stir in the pit of my stomach, Steve had called it nervousness but I knew it wasn't.  
It was fear and I wasn't afraid to admit it. I was from Millwall, the sworn enemy of West Ham, and here I was heading into their headquarters expecting anything but a warm welcome.  
Steve had said that I was sure to get a job there and normally I wouldn't even feel half as bad as I did now but there were some things that just weren't to my advantage.

1. As previously mentioned me = Millwall, they = West Ham. Together = Not a good combination.

2. I may have been able to cover up the bruises on my face but I still felt them and I constantly felt like the injuries had started showing again.

3. What if someone recognized me? Or even worse, what if my dad found out where I was?

"Lookin' for somethin', lass?" I turned around and saw a man walking up to me. He was probably around the same age as Steve and looked just as nice, but then again I knew looks could be deceiving.  
"Yeah, maybe you could help me." I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked up to meet him half-way. "I'm looking for the owner."  
"Ah, then you must be Bella. Steve called me, said you'd be coming. I'm Terry, the owner." He shook my hand with a warm smile before unlocking the door to the pub and showing me in.

"So..." Terry looked at me from behind the bar. "Your old man got you real good, ey?"  
"You know about..." I felt my throat dry up a bit.  
"You being Hatcher's daughter? Yep. You see back when Steve was the Major I was his right-hand man. I was there the day your brother..." He noticed the look on my face. "Back then. So Steve told me what happened and asked me to take care of you. You know, make you feel at home and all that."

"Have you ever worked in a pub before?" He asked while he was giving me the tour of the place.  
"Not really, but I've been to enough to know how things work." I explained and he seemed satisfied with that answer because he just hummed.  
"What would you say about starting tonight, then we'll take it from there?"  
"Absolutely! Thank you, Terry. I'm in your debt." I answered gratefully.  
The older man shook his head.  
"Think nothing of it, lass. I'm just happy to help."

He threw me a waist apron and I caught it, although with a grim thought in my head.  
"Will anyone know?" Terry turned to me again with a confused look on his face. "About my family I mean..." I hesitated as the words left my mouth.  
"I'm not really one for telling you what to do but I personally think it would be wise if you didn't mention Hatcher being your ol' man and all. Considering."  
"And what about Millwall?" I asked, really wanting to know how much about me I should reveal.

"I don't think that'll be a problem." Terry smiled. "Just share what you feel, the boys in here wouldn't hurt a woman but they may not always be nice to one if you know what I'm saying."  
"I was raised in a firm, I know what you mean." I chuckled humourlessly.  
"Right." I couldn't really tell from the look on his face if he found my remark amusing or saddening but I shook it off as the bell above the door chimed and the first customer of the day made his appearance.

**_*I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_*****_I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_*****_I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_***

"Oi, Bells! Would you get some beers to the boys in the corner?" Terry called over the loud noise in the pub and I quickly drafted three pitchers of beer for the loudest patrons in the place.  
"Here you go, boys." I said as I placed the pitchers on the table without really looking at the men around it.  
"Well, well, well. What do we have here, boys?" One of the men whistled and when I turned my eyes to him I saw him looking me up and down.  
"Terry got himself a new bar-maid did he?" Another asked although I could tell he was talking about me, not to me.

"Hello, boys!" A familiar voice coming from behind me made me turn around and I was greeted by the first familiar face I'd seen all night. "Bella? What are you doin' here?" He said as he walked up to me and the table.  
"My first day of work, Steve set it up for me." I placed the last pitcher on the table and it was first now that I saw the man behind Pete. He looked like a typical right-hand man, willing to do anything for the firm.  
I shivered at the thought.  
"Pete, you know this girl?" One of the guys asked and Pete greeted them all before sitting down in the corner.  
"She's a friend of me brother's. Not that I really know anything about her." He shrugged and looked at me as if expecting me to spill my life-story right then and there.

"Well. I'm Dave." The guy who'd whistled me stood up and reached out his hand for me to shake. "And sorry 'bout earlier, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He winked and sat back down, allowing Pete to introduce me to the other boys.  
They offered me to sit down with them and I threw a look at Terry for conformation before I joined them. The right-hand guy, Bovver I think his name was, just kept staring at me as if trying to chase me away from the table but no one else seemed to mind him so I didn't either.

They didn't tell me but I knew from the first glance that they were at the top of West Ham's firm, the GSE but they were so different from the NTO in how they behaved.  
They weren't afraid to pull jokes, they talked back to their "leader" which no one dared to do to my father. These guys really were a family, not just a bunch of guys who got drunk, watched football and fought together.  
I was just getting comfortable next to Pete who's eyes, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, kept coming back to me and when I turned my head to look back at him he met my gaze with the hint of a smile. I really figured he would just meet my eye and then go back to the conversation but he actually kept his eyes locked in mine and I gradually felt my cheeks heating up until a loud voice broke the spell between us.  
"Bells, you're up!" Terry called from the bar and suddenly I was back into work.  
"Sorry, boys. Boss is calling." I sighed and stood up, throwing one last look at Pete before walking away from the table and going to do my job.

I had just left the pub for the night and was heading to the tube, very tired but very happy from working all night, when I heard someone walking up behind me. For a second I thought that maybe it was just coincidence that they were heading in my direction but soon the person started walking faster and faster until I felt a rough hand grab a firm hold on my arm and spun me around to face him.  
"What the fuck?" I exclaimed when I saw who it was. "You scared the shit out of me!" I tried to free my arm but grip of the man called Bovver was too tight.  
"Why the fuck are you here?" He growled.  
"What?" I asked confused.  
"I knew you were trouble from the moment I saw you but I never expected you to actually show up in West Ham."

I felt my blood run cold. Now that I thought about it I recognized him from somewhere, even though I couldn't quite place him I suspected he might have ran into my father sometime when I was with him.  
"I don't know what you mean." I tried to pry his fingers away from my arm but he just gripped it harder than before.  
"Don't act so innocent with me, you're Tommy Hatcher's daughter. Now..." I winced as his grip tightened until I was sure it would leave bruises. "Why shouldn't I tell everyone and get you fired?"  
"Look. I don't know what you think you know but I have nothing to do with my father or Millwall any more." I pleaded, almost desperately.  
"And I'm supposed to believe tha?"

"Look, I'm not here to hurt anyone, least of all the GSE. I just want to start over and Steve and Terry were nice enough to give me that chance."  
His grip loosened a bit and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"If you do anything to hurt this firm I will make sure you'll never live to see another day." He hissed and finally let go of me. He didn't even throw me another glance as he walked away, leaving only the bruises on my arm as proof that the conversation ever took place.

**_*I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_*****_I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_*****_I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_***

Two months had passed since my first night at 'The Abbey' and my life had started getting back on track. My job at the pub was going smoothly and I could only assume the Bovver hadn't said anything about our little interaction because everyone treated me really nice, especially Pete and the boys. Bov had been the only one who was distant, more like cold, with me but the guys told me not to worry about it, he'd warm up eventually.

I had slowly been getting more and more involved with the guys and the GSE, no matter how much I may have tried to avoid it. I was always in the bar on football-days and somewhere along the way I'd managed to get pulled into the merry atmosphere and had soon enough found myself singing along in the many songs that could be heard for blocks before a match.  
Lately I'd kept getting invited to come to the matches with them and usually I would have declined, saying that there was just too much work to be done because I didn't want to get mixed up with the firms again, but today Terry had told me I should go and so there I was.

Sitting between Pete and Dave watching the game I actually felt good. As much as I didn't want to admit it football was in my blood and no matter where I originally came from I jumped and cheered whenever West Ham scored a goal. Something that seemed to thrill the guys, apparently not many of the girls they knew were this interested in football.

"I never thought I'd say this but I haven't had this much fun in a long time." I laughed as we were making our way out of the arena and we were all excited about the win when Bovver came up and pushed my slightly out of his way when he came to whisper something in Pete's ear. Something that got Pete very excited. Something that I assumed had to do with an upcoming fight.

I knew the boys weren't really comfortable with sharing the knowledge about their firm and so I didn't give them an opportunity to tell me some sort of excuse for leaving, by leaving first.  
"Listen guys." All attention was turned to me. "Thanks for inviting me to the match, it was really nice but I need to head home. Steve needed a babysitter and I said I could cover for him so..."  
"A'right, too bad but we wouldn't wanna keep Ben waiting, would we?" Pete said, unable to hide the overjoyed smile that made its way onto his lips at the thought of a good scrap.  
"Right." I smiled and leaned over to hug them all goodbye, everyone except Bovver who just turned away from me when I got close, causing him to receive annoyed looks from the guys.

When I got to Pete I leaned a little closer to whisper into his ear.  
"Be careful, you hear?"  
When I pulled back he looked at me with a questioning look on his face, not quite understanding how I knew they might need to be careful.  
"No worries, lass. We'll take good care of him for ya." Dave winked at me and I actually felt myself blush a little.

The guys headed in one direction and I in another, happily unaware of the fact that a pair of eyes were watching me turn the corner.  
"Hatcher!"  
I froze and whipped around to see who could possibly know my last name. I hadn't told anyone besides Steve and Terry, and Bovver but he had left with the boys!  
"James..." I felt the breath hitch in my throat at the sight of the terrifying man in front of me.  
"Miss me?" He smirked and started closing in on me.  
I saw in the corner of my eye how someone walked up behind me and before I could even see who it was I felt a hard blow to the back of my head and everything went black.

**_*I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_*****_I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_*****_I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air_***

When I woke up the next morning I immediately regretted it. Everything hurt and I mean everything. I looked around and despite the fact that I didn't know what James and his friend had done to me while I was unconscious I was relieved I hadn't been moved from the alley where I'd been jumped.  
I was on my back and as I rolled over I felt my ribs screaming in protest, I'd say they were broken but then again I wasn't a doctor. I bit down hard on my swollen lip as I tried to stand up but sunk down back onto the ground, gasping for air.

"What the fuck happened to you, Hatcher?" And here I thought my morning couldn't get any worse.  
"Not now, Bovver." I hissed through gritted teeth as I once again tried to stand up, actually getting up but was about to fall when I felt a pair of strong arms grab a hold of me.

I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision and was surprised to see the older man holding me up. He never got close to me, let alone touched me so I was a little shocked to say the least.  
"What are you doin'? Going to drop me in a second, 'ey?" I chuckled humourlessly and felt Bov sigh.  
"A'ight, I deserved that. Can you walk?" He asked and even though I still wasn't too sure about his intentions I took a trying step and found that I didn't hurt all that bad if I just took it slowly.  
"Yeah." I grabbed a handful of the man's jacket to try and steady myself as a wave of dizziness came over me.  
"You need to go to a hospital." He said as he helped out of the alley and halted a cab for me but I stopped in my tracks at the mention of a hospital.  
"No, no hospitals. All I need are some painkillers and a decent bed to sleep in and I'll be good in no time."

Bovver looked at me for a few seconds before getting me into the car and joined me before telling the driver an address that I was sure wasn't the hospital.  
I wanted to ask him where we were going but I suddenly felt very tired and leaned my head on the man's shoulder just for a second to rest my eyes and when I opened them again ten minutes later we were outside of an apartment-building.  
"Where are we?" I asked, blinking the sleep out of my eyes as Bov paid the driver.  
"Outside a place that has painkillers and a decent bed." He actually smiled at me and I felt my otherwise defensive attitude towards him lighten up a bit.

He managed to get me up the two flights of stairs but it took a little time and once we finally reached the apartment I was short of breath.  
"You wanna sit down?" Bov asked me when he noticed.  
"Nah, just need to... catch my breath." I breathed and braced myself against the wall for a second, looking around the small apartment as I took my time.

It was a lot like Bovver actually, it wasn't fancy but served its purpose, I thought and smiled softly to myself.  
"I guess you wanna take a shower." Bove said and handed me a towel that I accepted gratefully. Sleeping in an alley all night sure did leave you feeling a little dirty so I walked into the bathroom after he showed me where it was and started undressing.

It was first now, when I started peeling off my dirty bloody clothes, that I realized why Bov had been worried about me and when I stood there naked and looked into the mirror I felt the hair stand up at the back of my neck.  
I had gotten a shiner that surely I wasn't going to be able to hide, my bottom lip had cracked and was swollen at the corner. My long blonde hair had streaks of dried blood and my eyebrow had a bleeding cut across it. My torso and waist had several dark patches on them, no doubt from kicks and there were bruises on the outside of my thighs as well as my arms and wrists from when I'd been held down...  
I shook my head tiredly and turned away from the mirror, stepping into the shower allowing the water to wash away the blood.

40 minutes later I was sitting on Bov's couch, dressed in a pair of his old sweatpants and a West Ham-hoodie, sipping a cup of tea as the man inspected the injuries on my face from across the coffee-table.  
"So I have to ask..." I started and placed my cup on the table. "What's with the nice-guy-attitude, Bovver?"  
He tensed up a little but still met my gaze, something that he'd rarely did before... At least not with a smile in his eyes.  
"I was in Millwall the other night... And I kinda met your ol' man."  
I could tell from the look on his face that it wasn't a good meeting, but since when was any meeting with my father ever a good one?

"And?" I bit my lip and tried to shake the thoughts of my dad out of my head.  
"And I see why you left. He's gone fuckin' mental." Bov dropped his head and shook it as he spoke.  
"You see..." I picked up my cup and took a sip before resting it in my lap. "I.. I didn't exactly leave."

He turned his face to me and looked at me with a questioning look on his face.  
"He beat me up and pretty much banished me from Millwall." I shrugged softly and raised the cup to my lips again. "Guess he couldn't have a daughter who realized that he'd lost it."  
"You're shitting me..." He stared at me in disbelief. "He would actually turn against his own kid?"  
"Apparently."  
"Who knows about this?" He asked and I drank the last of the tea before answering him.  
"Not including you?" He nodded. "Steve Dunham and Terry."  
"Not Pete?"

I looked at him with a confused eyebrow raised.  
"Pete?" Another nod. "No, why would I have told him?"  
He shrugged in a manor that made me a little annoyed but I was beaten up too bad to do anything about it.  
"No one was supposed to know besides Steve." I sighed and leaned back on the couch, closing my eyes as I did to ease the headache that was currently attacking my poor head. "Then you found out and I was sure that you would get me thrown out of West Ham... But you didn't." I opened my eyes again and looked straight at him.

"Why didn't you, Bov?"  
He kept his silence for a few seconds, as if choosing his words carefully.  
"I would have. I told myself that I really would tell if you caused any trouble. But you didn't. And then when I met your ol' man last night I... I just thought you deserved better than what you had."

I smiled a little and told him to come to me seeing as I couldn't really get off the couch.  
He did as I asked, although a little questioning when I leaned forward and kissed his cheek gently.  
"Thank you." I whispered and although he seemed a little uncomfortable he met my eyes and let out a little smile of his own that I'd never seen before.  
"No problem, kid." 

* * *

**A/N: I'm back! After a long-ass hiatus I'm back to writing on this story, it took a while but I hope you enjoyed chapter 4 ;)  
Thanks for reading!**


	5. Some answers, some questions

**Forgiveness is the final form of love – Chapter 5 – Some answers, some questions**

A/N: New chapter's up! As you might have noticed this story goes very slowly, mostly because I have so much going on right now but also because I'm sorta missing the inspiration for this.

So if anyone has any ideas as to how this should be continued, if nothing else just to spark my interest again I'd be thankful ;)  
Now, on to reading!

* * *

"Where the fuck have you been the past week, Bells?" Pete asked me when he spotted me behind the bar for the first time in a week's time. "Terry said you'd taken the week off and when I asked Steve he said you'd moved out."

"Well, they're both right." I smiled and handed the two beers in my hands to the man who'd ordered them. "Now, what can I get you, Dunham?" I turned back to him.

"Some answers." He looked angry and I suddenly understood why he was the head of the Green Street Elite.

"Why do you care?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

There was no real reason for him to, it's not like we were anything other than friends. At least not as far as I knew.

He looked a little taken aback by my question but soon got his poker-face back on.

"Stop avoiding the subject, Bella. You were gone for a 'ole week without anyone knowing where you were, we were worried about you."

"Look, Pete. I'm fine, nothing's happened so you can all stop worrying." I assured him and sighed in relief when I saw Bovver walk up behind him.

"Yo, mate. What's happ'ning?" He asked with a hand on his leader's shoulder but his eyes directed to me.

"Just trying to find out where Bells was for the past week 's all." Pete answered annoyed and Bov snorted.

"The princess probably just ran away with her Prince Charming for a while." He said in an annoyed voice although the eyes still looking straight into mine were kind.

"Oh, shut up, Bovver." I said and handed them the beers. "At least I have preferences." I dead-panned and I could tell he had a hard time trying not to chuckle.

Both of them left the bar and I went back to work, my mind travelling to the past week at Bovver's place.

"_So this James-character. 'ho is he?" Bov called from the bedroom where he was making the bed._

_I finished brushing my teeth and slowly walked out to join him._

"_He's part of Millwall's firm, NTO. He was arrested a few years back for attempted rape. He got out recently and when he saw me with you guys he must have put two and two together and thought I'd betrayed my dad... Plus he's always had something against me." I shivered, something that Bovver seemed to notice._

"_What ya mean?" He asked and sat down on the made bed._

"_It's a bit of a long story but I guess I'll shorten it down seeing as it's kinda late." I sighed and ran a bandaged hand through my hair as I joined him on the bed._

"_I was the person he attempted to rape." I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible._

_An uncomfortable silence filled the room and I could literally feel Bovver's furious eyes on me._

"_What?" He hissed and for a second I was so thankful for knowing that he wasn't angry at me._

"_He never really got that far though but ever since then I just... freeze up around him. I can't help it!" I exclaimed frustrated. "I'm a pretty good fighter but whenever I hear his name I get so scared I can't move and I hate it!"_

_I felt an angry tear leaking from the corner of my eye and wiped it away, not caring about the pain from the bruise underneath it._

"_But he didn't, you know... Last night, I mean..." Bov tried to find the right words but I cut him to it._

"_No, if he had I would have known. Don't ask me why he didn't but I guess he wants me conscious, likes to hear people scream." I explained and tried not to let my own words freak me out._

_I'd gone through the whole thing once, I could do it again, I thought._

"_Listen, Bells. I was thinking about something." I looked up from the hands clasped on my lap and looked up._

"_What's that?"_

"_Maybe it would be better for you if you stayed here a while." He wasn't looking at me any more but I could tell he was cursing himself for sounding so lame. "If James really following you it means you ain't safe at Steve's any more. This is the least likely place to find you... It's a fucked up plan, ain't it?" He asked disappointed when my eyebrows kept rising higher with every word._

"_Yeah, it is. But I actually think that it's a good one as well. That is if you can bare having me as a room-mate." I smiled._

"Oi, beautiful. Earth calling for Bells." Dave Miller was waving his hand in front of my face and with a wide smile I returned to earth and the man.

"Hey, Dave." I greeted happily. There was something special about Dave. He was one of the nicest guys I'd ever met, he looked respectable, he had a good job, he was a good husband and he cared for me like a little sister, something that I'd never experienced before. "What's up?"

He laughed and pointed over his shoulder to a sulking Pete in the furthest corner of the pub.

"What'd you do to piss him off?" He smiled but I just raised an eyebrow.

"I asked him why he cared where I was all week. It's not like I told anyone else, why should he be an exception?" I said matter-of-factly and Dave just laughed and reached over the counter to ruffle my hair.

"Sometimes you're so dense it's just adorable."

"What? If he wants something he should tell me, I'm not one for reading into things." I replied and pushed the bowl of salted peanuts towards the pilot, knowing they were his one vice... Apart from football and beer.

"Nope, you sure ain't." He agreed with a crooked smile and shoved a handful of salted nuts into his mouth. "Whou dun yu schit wisch ush?" He said with his mouth full.

"What?" I laughed and watched him swallow the nuts with great difficulty.

"Why don't ya come sit with us? I'm sure Terry'll let you off the hook for the night." He threw a look at Terry who just smiled and nodded in agreement.

Terry knew why I had been gone from work for a week as did Steve but I had told them not to tell anyone else, so no one but me, them and Bovver knew the truth about my absence for the past week.

Sitting there with the boys again felt strangely normal, hearing them talk about last night's match against Tottenham put a smile on my face and although Pete was still not his usual energetic self he was part of the conversation and I caught him casting glances my way more than once.

Finally getting annoyed at his sideways glances I stood up and walked up behind him, the smell of his cologne brought images to life in my head, and I leaned down to hiss in his ear.

"Could I talk to you alone?" He looked up at me, surprised to say the least but he never the less excused himself, stood up and followed me outside into the cold night air.

"What you wanna talk about?" He asked and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, shielding them from the cold wind.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Straight-forward as usual, way to go Bells.

"Like what?" His tough-guy attitude was starting to show in his voice so I decided to get to the point before his guard was up completely.

"Like you have something to say to me." I looked him in the eye and for a second I thought he was going to deny it but when he didn't I continued. "So what is it?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his short blonde hair.

"Bells... When I said that we were worried about you, I kinda lied." He explained in an uncertain voice as if questioning every word that came out of his mouth. "Truth is what I meant was that I was worried about you." He sighed, his breath showing in the cold air.

"Why?" I inched closer, as if the warmth of his body was speaking to me, willing me to come closer.

"Cause I care about you." He shrugged in an attempt to stop his fidgeting. "And I'm starting to think not just as a friend any more."

So I hadn't been completely wrong after all.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I asked, taking another step closer until I was almost pressed against his taller frame.

"I was... Don't know, worried I guess. About losing you as a friend. And it's not like I know much about you at all, I mean you could 'ave just packed up your stuff and left." This time he didn't even try to hide his fidgeting and to be honest I found it quite sweet that the proud and cocky leader of the GSE would act this innocent.

"I'm not the kind of girl who abandons her friends, feelings involved or not." I smiled softly and allowed myself to press against him, goosebumps spreading over my body as he wrapped his arms around me, his muscular body giving me some warmth back.

"So what are you doing tonight, mystery-girl?" He smiled and looked down at me with a smirk.

"Well, that depends..." I played a little with the sipper of his shirt. "On if I could find some young stud to take me home, I could really use some company tonight." I said in a teasing voice and I felt the smallest rumble go through Pete's chest as he growled silently.

"You're a fuckin' tease, you know that?" He whispered, his lips were so close to mine and I could feel my heart speeding up at the thought of kissing them.

"You love it." I said and before I could get another word out his lips were on mine and I quickly found myself kissing him back.

_***I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air**_*_**I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air**_*_**I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air**_*

That night ended early for the two of us as we left the Abbey not long after that kiss. The whole way home to Pete's place we were acting like a couple of school-kids, kissing and touching every chance we got.

It wasn't until I was on top of him on his bed with him practically ripped my shirt off of me that he stilled and it took me a moment to realize why but once I got it I felt the colour drain from my face.

Pete was staring at the still prominent discolouring all over my torso from my meet with the NTO last week and I couldn't decide whether he looked angry or shocked.

"What the fuck is this, Bells?" He sat up, still with me immovably straddled across him.

"They're called bruises, Pete. You've never seen one before?" Out of all the things I could have said I chose this moment to be funny, what the fuck was wrong with me?

"Don't you dare be cute with me. What the fuck happened to you?" Pete was staring me squarely in the eye and I didn't like the look in his eyes one bit.

"It's nothing." I said as I grabbed my shirt and pulled it on to cover up the worst of the healing bruises, at least they looked a lot worse than they felt. "Don't worry about it."

I got up from the bed and headed for the door, just wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible but Pete wouldn't let it end there.

He got up and in a second he was behind me, grabbing onto my arm to stop me from leaving.

"Pete, let me go." I tried to pry my arm away but of course he was stronger than me.

"No, not until you tell me who did this." His voice was firm and sort of frightening, a lot like the one my dad used when he was upset with me.

"Let go of my arm, Pete." I felt the panic starting to rise when he not only didn't let go but tightened the grip.

"Tell me!" He screamed at me, causing the tears to spill over in my eyes.

"It was the NTO!" I screamed back at him, feeling my father's name on the tip of my tongue but stopping myself from letting it slip out.

"What?... Why would they go after you?" Pete was stunned but thankfully he let go of my arm.

"I sort of... used to be a part of them... Tommy Hatcher's my dad."


	6. Silence is my answer

**Forgiveness is the final form of love – Chapter 6 – Silence is my answer**

**A/N: This will be the last chapter of Forgiveness is the Final Form of Love. I have enjoyed writing this story, although it didn't turn out completely as I expected, but what ever does really? Each chapter has taken a lot of time, I am aware, but I'm thankful for every person who has taken the time to find them, read them and like them!**

**I hope you like this last chapter!**

* * *

Pete brushed past me without a word and sat down on the couch in the livingroom, his face set in stone and his jaw tense as he stared aimlessly into the wall next to me.

It was stupid. Telling him.

I knew that, but still I couldn't help feeling like I had done nothing wrong. Tommy Hatcher might be an insane bastard but he was still my dad and a part of me.

I didn't say anything, a part of me feeling like I didn't deserve to, just waited for him to break the silence.

After a few moments he broke his staring at the wall and turned his blue eyes to me, the ice they sent through my body was enough to cause me to shiver.

"Who knows?" His voice, firm and chilling, sparked a tinge of fear inside of me but I did my best to keep it hidden.

"I came to your brother for help two months ago so he knows, Terry knew me from his time in the firm and then there's Bovver... He recognized me the moment he saw me." I explained but by the time I mentioned Bovver Pete couldn't sit still any more and started pacing.

"So why didn't he tell me about you?" His voice was angry now, accusing, and I really didn't like it.

"He would have." I answered, my voice low and slightly shaking. "He told me if I caused trouble then he would tell and get me kicked out..."

"Why did you lie to me?!" Pete suddenly yelled causing me to flinch.

"Technically, I never lied to you about my family. You never asked." I countered.

"Had I asked would you have told me the truth?"

Looking into those dangerous blue eyes I wanted so badly to tell him what he wanted to hear... But I couldn't lie to him any more.

"No, I wouldn't have."

At my response his demeanour changed for the worse. He straightened up, his entire body tensed and the look in his eyes was that of complete and utter disgust.

"Get out."

I felt the lump in my throat grow to an uncomfortable size as I nodded silently and grabbed my jacket laying on the floor before leaving the apartment, my tears mixing with the pouring rain as I didn't know where I was headed any more.

_***I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air**_*

"You don't have to leave, Bells." Bov stood in the doorway, attempting to block my way as I restlessly walked between the bedroom and the livingroom to throw whatever things of mine I could find into my bag.

"Yes, I do, Bovver." I sighed as I pushed my way past him to throw a pair of jeans into the green suitcase. "I can't stay here. I just can't."

"Bella, just stop for a second. Please." A gentle hold on my arms actually made me stop but looking into his eyes brought tears to mine. "Where will you go, huh? Back to your ol' man?"

"I don't know..." A tear rolled down my face and he pulled me into a tight embrace, sharing some of his warmth. "I don't know but I guess I could look for my mum. She left after Tommy died, I haven't heard from her since then."

I pulled away from the safety of Bov's arms and wiped my tears with the sleeve of my hoodie. That's what I would do. I would look for my mum, live with her and put the last 10 years behind me.

"Are you sure you're not just running away?"

I was running away. I realized that.

I had been through too much for a girl my age and yet I had never ran away on my own free will. 

But this was it.

I just couldn't take it any more. I missed my mum so much it hurt and just the thought of seeing her again was the one thing that kept me together right now.

With all my things packed there was just two things left to do. 

Saying goodbye to Steve was worse than I expected it to be, and telling Ben that I wasn't going to be around any more just broke my heart. He'd lost his mum to cancer two years earlier and now I was leaving, the girl he'd come to see as a sort of aunt.

But the most difficult thing was walking into 'The Abbey', knowing that it would be the last time I ever set foot there. Knowing that it would be the last time I saw my boys laughing and drinking, having the time of their life.

Trying to keep a low profile I walked behind the bar with my hood pulled up, covering my eyes and said my goodbye to Terry. If I hadn't been tearing up myself I might have been able to notice my boss' eyes turn watery and the tear rolling down his clean-shaven cheeks.

I was going to miss him, he was like the father I never got to see any more. Loving, caring and protective of me. Someone who loved me and would do anything to keep me safe. 

My cell-phone suddenly started ringing and my boys in the corner all turned their heads toward me at the sound of the familiar ringtone.

Quickly picking up my suitcase I went outside and answered my phone just as I was heading away from the lot, to the nearest tube-station not aware that the guys had taken notice of my suitcase and had followed me outside.

"Bov, I'm not gonna change my mind..." I started but was interrupted by a female.

"I'm sorry, is this Isabella Hatcher speaking?"

"Yes, this is she." I placed my suitcase on the ground next to me, feeling my heart sink in my chest.

The boys had now reached me but saw the expression on my face and thankfully they stayed quiet while I spoke.

"I am calling from St. Richard's Hospital, we have a patient here by the name of Irene Hatcher and you are listed as her next of kin."

I felt my world start to crumble around me. What was my mum doing at the hospital...

"Y.. Yes." I managed to stutter. "Irene Hatcher is my mother, what happened to her?"

If I saw the questioning glances on the boys' faces I didn't acknowledge them.

"She was in a car crash tonight." The woman answered, her voice soft yet professional. "I'm afraid that her condition is critical."

I felt the colour drain from my face.

"Well, is she going to make it?" I was on the verge of falling apart now.

"You should probably hurry, she doesn't have much time left." Was the response I got and I felt the tears falling one by one until I was sure the rain had started falling again. 

_***They fly so high, they reach the sky. And like my dreams they fade and die**_* 

Seeing her for the first time in 10 years was not like I had expected it to be.

I had imagined me standing by her front door, her taking a long good look at me before realizing who I was and then she'd engulf me in one of her bear hugs. She'd have kissed my hair with the tears running down her rosy cheeks and told me how much she loved me.

Standing by her hospital bed that dream seemed a million miles away.

She was skinnier than I remembered her, her hair that I remembered as golden brown had faded into grey, her green eyes were closed and she was dressed in a hospital gown.

She was on a morphine-drip, the doctors way of trying to ease her suffering, and there were tubes attached to her that did god knows what to keep her alive.

She looked so fragile, like the feeling you get when you see a baby bird for the first time, like even the softest touch would break her.

Tryingly she opened her eyes, and slowly looked around the room.

The moment her gaze landed on me I knew she recognized me, there was the smallest hint of a smile on her lips as she opened her mouth to speak to me.

Her voice was hoarse and older than I remembered it and yet the sound of it made me smile.

"Isabella." I sat down next to her, looking at her with tears in my eyes. "You're even more beautiful than I had imagine." She reached out a weak hand to wipe away the tear that fell from my eye.

"I missed you, mum." I whispered, my voice breaking.

"I missed you too, sweetheart." She took my hand and held it, stroking her thumb across my skin just like I remembered her doing when I was a child. 

Hearing footsteps I looked towards the door and with the tears running down my cheeks I saw my dad. Standing in the doorway, out of breath and with tears shining in his grey eyes.

Slowly he walked up to us, hesitantly he sat down next to me, as if unsure he should be there at all.

"You look good, Tommy." His wife smiled softly at him and the tears fell from his eyes as he grasped her hand and kissed it.

"You look beautiful, Rena." He smiled a gentle smile.

"You know you're the only one who ever called me that." She laughed almost inaudibly with a tired smile on her face. "It made me feel special."

"You are special, Rena." I looked at my dad, we were both crying now and I can't I have ever seen him look so guilty. "I'm so sorry about what I did to you." He turned to look at me. "To the both of you. I have been a terrible husband and an even worse dad."

I placed a hand on top of his and my mother's, squeezing it tightly.

"I never thought the day would come when I could see you again and apologize for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry, Rena. I'm so sorry." He buried his face in our hands, weeping in anguish at the thought of losing the love of his life forever.

"Shhh..." My mother shushed, bringing him to face her. "I forgive you, Tommy. You need to know that."

"I love you, Rena." He whispered and I had to look away, feeling myself beginning to crack.

"And I love you, the both of you, so much..."

"Remember that..." 

Those were the last words my mother ever spoke in this world.

She fell asleep in that hospital bed and never woke up again.

A few weeks later we buried her next to Tommy, with a simple grey headstone to mark it. 

It said:

Here rests a family, all equally loved and cherished.

"Forgiveness is the final form of love" - Reinhold Niebuhr. 

After my mother's death my father cut his ties with the NTO and we moved to a quiet place outside the city. I got a job at the local library and he worked in a garage until he retired.

Every week we went to visit our family and when my dad died many years later I laid him next to his wife, the woman he had never stopped loving even after she had passed. 

As for the GSE I never went back to 'The Abbey'. Too many memories that I couldn't handle.

Steve and Ben came to visit me often though, even after I'd gotten married and had children of my own.

Terry, Dave and Bovver were faithful visitors as well, checking up on me every now and again to make sure that my husband treated me like the queen they thought I was.

I never heard from Pete again. I couldn't deal with facing him and he never contacted me, but I never forgot him.

Not even on my death bed at the age of 91 years old had I forgotten my first love.

And I could only hope he never forgot about me.

* * *

**A/N: I hope this story has lived up, at least somewhat, to your expectations. Thank you all for sticking with me and for reading this! You are the best!**


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